Dear Miss Behavior

Dear Frustrated in Public,

The public toddler tantrum—a rite of passage for every parent! One important thing to remember is to plan ahead for every public outing, even if you ended u not needing your “public bag” First, take a deep breath and remember, you’re not alone. When your little one melts down, she’s expressing big emotions in the only way she knows how. Start by validating her feelings: “I see you’re upset because we can’t get that toy right now.” This shows her you’re listening, even if she can’t have her way.

Next, try to distract or redirect her attention—sing a silly song, point out something interesting nearby, or offer a choice (“Would you like to hold my keys or help push the cart?”). And if all else fails, don’t be afraid to pack up and head home early. Sometimes a change of scenery is the best remedy. Remember, you’re doing great, even when it feels chaotic! Join me for one of my Virtual groups or Parenting Power Hours!

With understanding,

Miss Behavior

Dear Patience Pending, A question that every parents wants to know but doesn't know how to ask! Between two and three kids are dealing with this side by side with their parent. It's like sharing, you don't expect them to be a pro but you want to model the expectation. All kids are different but I would focus on encouraging what would be typical; identifying emotions of happy sad and mad, knowing they can go to a caregiver for help, model taking a breath or hugging a teddy bear (again, not expected spontaneously but great to show). Practicing turn taking, and trying some of this when the child is in a calm state so they can be reminded when they are in the heat of the moment. Hopefully these few things give some insight to that fun age of mostly out of control little darlings :) I have tons more info for you! Sign up for a free group.

With encouragement, Miss Behavior

Me too! If you have a parenting question, feel free to ask :)

Dear Frustrated but Fabulous Nana,

First off, big hug and high-five for noticing your grandson’s anger and wanting to do something about it instead of just crossing your fingers and waiting for puberty to do its thing. Spoiler alert: it usually doesn’t help.

Now let’s dig in. Ten-year-olds are in that in-between land—no longer a little kid, not quite a teen, but filled with big feelings, shifting hormones, and very few tools to manage them. I don’t have much of a back story but I will try to cover a few things.  Anger is often the bodyguard emotion—it shows up loud and fiery to protect softer feelings like sadness, fear, frustration, or feeling out of control.

Here’s what I suggest; and I am giving you several ideas...

1. Name It to Tame It

Help him put words to what he’s feeling under the anger. “You seem really mad right now. Is something feeling unfair, embarrassing, scary,  …?” (You’re not excusing the anger—you’re decoding it.)

2. Don’t Fight the Fire With Fire

When he's angry, stay calm. Think firefighter, not flamethrower. You don’t have to solve it in the moment—just help him attempt to deal. 

3. Make Anger Boring

This one’s sneaky. If anger always gets him attention, power, or drama, it might accidentally get reinforced. Flip the script: respond with low energy and calm, and give the big positive attention when he’s managing emotions well.

4. Build His Toolbox

Teach and practice cool-down strategies before he’s angry. Think: movement (bounce a ball, go outside), calming music, journaling, fidget toys, or just deep breaths and some space. Make it a challenge: “Let’s each pick our top 3 calm-down tools and try them this week!”

5. Watch for Triggers

Does he get especially angry when he’s hungry, tired, rushed, or overwhelmed? Those are grown-up triggers too. Keep a casual log for a few days—you might spot a pattern. Most people aren’t fans of logs, but they really work!

6. Spark Some Control

Give him safe choices throughout the day. “Do you want to do your homework at the table or on the floor?” Angry kids often feel powerless—control over small things helps build confidence.

7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

If he gets through a tough situation with just one stompy foot instead of a full meltdown? That’s growth. Praise it like it’s an Olympic win.

And most importantly—don’t lose hope.  Kids who angry are often sensitive kids who haven’t yet figured out how to handle their big, stormy hearts. With calm adults, clear boundaries, and emotional coaching (plus your Nana sparkle), he’s going to get there.

Wisdom Wink: Anger is loud, but it’s not the real problem. Keep listening for the quieter truth underneath.  I have many more ideas and strategies for you.  Schedule an appointment to chat or sign up for a free group session.

With love,  and a dash of patience, Miss Behavior

Welcome to you!

Hello Messy kid,

Funny; I have a child with your exact name and he hated cleaning his room too. Typically, cleaning sessions ended up turning into him disappearing into his room and finding all kinds of missing treasures long forgotten. A few ideas that have worked for families: Set a 10 minute timer and put on some music. Offer to help if appropriate. Try asking for one task at a time, "Pick up your clothes", Take dishes and trash to the kitchen etc.. and one more, try offering an incentive for days r a week with a clean room like choosing what is for dinner, or picking the family movie or game. Hope these help! Lots of Love, Miss Behavior

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